Garthok

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Garthok


Guild Broken axe clan
Race Orc
Class Hunter
Faction Horde/broken axe clan
Profession(s) skinning/leatherworking
Age 21
Player User:garthok

[edit] Physical Description

Behold, the biggest mistake of God, the biggest lol cow on the face of the earth, God's gift to trolls everywhere, Chris-chan (aka: Sonichu, CWC, クリスちゃん, Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, The Impostoar, Sammy, or Antonio, Christopher). Born February 24, 1982, Christian is a perverse, overweight, racist, pedophilic, homophobic, self-proclaimed "high-functioning autistic" virgin man-child, and creator of his own awesomely drawn series of comics starring his brilliant crossover of Pikachu and Sonic.

Chris wears a medallion around his neck in homage to his yellow Sonic recolor, in public. As if that weren't lame enough, Chris-chan actually has a shit load of medallions: The Black Sonichu medallion, and a Rosechu medallion (which he planned on giving to his sweetheart), suggesting that he has far too much free time on his hands. Triple, in fact, the amount originally suspected.

His hobbies include creating My Little Pony figures with his own pubes (including himself as a pony wearing a Sonichu medallion), stalking women at the mall, finding a "boyfriend-free girl" to "make into a Sweetheart from the ground-up", drawing (and actually uploading) pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary friend, drawing porn of his hedgehogs, taking naked pictures of himself, and sexing up a blow-up doll named JULAY (which was originally sold as "Kimmi"). Recently, he got into big trouble when his father walked in on him while he was masturbating. Chris really needs to grow up and sell his toys on eBay. However, no one will buy his shit, so a girlfriend-free faggot he remains. But it gets far worse, my friends...

Upon meeting Christian Weston Chandler in person, you'll notice several things about him: 

   * He never shuts up about Sonichu, so say you've heard of it.
   * His skin and hair covered in a film of grease, proving he never showers.
   * He wears crappy shirts from Salvation Army and loves to brag about it.
   * His scent is a combination ASS and AXE (oversprayed, of course).
   * HE CAN FEEL THE COSMOS!
   * If you're nice to him, he can actually be a pretty cool guy to talk to about TV, games, and whatnot -- until he rapes you.

Lastly: 

   * Once he starts stalking a woman, he'll tenaciously track her down, even if she's really an IRL troll, a 4chan troll or just doesn't exist.
   * He ALWAYS mentions he's a virgin when he meets women. (I'm dead serious.)

IRL Stalker DeviantART is about to get raped. DeviantART is about to get raped.

On MySpace, Chris posted his quest for a "boyfriend-free girl" and his stalking tendencies. Unfortunately for him, every woman on the planet appears to have a boyfriend. This has led to what Chris dubs "noviophobia": literally a fear of boyfriends. ("Novio" is actually a Spanish word for boyfriend, and any term even close to the specific fear of boyfriends in meaning would be androphobia or arrhenophobia.) Chris claims to hate every male besides himself and his father, because they "took all the pretty girls leaving [him] with no one to choose from".

Trolling of Chris-chan has crossed the OL border into to IRL. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker he really is or if they fap to picking on retards, it's uncertain. 

   * The Game Place, a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when anon took several photos of him. Nothing notable arose from this, other than mild lulz. CLICK here for Chris BAWWWing. 

   * An old classmate of Chris, Joshua Martinez, did some epic trolling. We don't actually know very much about Joshua, just a few key facts. Chris knew him from his old school (Joshua and Chris both had Special Ed together), recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities. For some reason, Chris became extremely jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Note that Chris only values Joshua's friendship because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him he might end up laid. Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will fuck with him. The chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of Vanessa Hudgens. CLICK HERE for Chris-chan unwittingly fapping to Joshua.


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[edit] External Links

garthok Armory Page

Retrieved from "http://ravenholdt.kaaosa.com/wiki/Garthok"